I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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