tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
