I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
