Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
