I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
