Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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