I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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