why didn't you poke me back
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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