You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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