What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
