Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize