I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
