you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
