Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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