Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
