hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
