we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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