got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize