Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize