i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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