you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
