Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
