he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
