fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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