hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
