Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
