i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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