Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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