Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize