Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
