you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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