u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My Sexting was not on an AP level
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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