you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
