i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
