ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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