If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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