I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
