Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
