Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
