Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
