YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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