he puts the penis in happiness.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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