Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
