Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
