I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
