carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
