then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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