How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
