I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
