How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
