And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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