his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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