Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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