Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
