just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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