she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he shaved USA in his pubs
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
