look no pants
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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