Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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