Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
