I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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